We are looking for new achievements or how to write “The worst blog”

Any author has a moment when he doesn’t know what to do next: you are known throughout the RuNet, you wake up every day with a million new subscribers, you have robbed the SG treasury more than once and even wrote about how to write good blogs. Everyone has already achieved this, but few know in which direction to move next. However, the answer is there and lies on the surface: go in the opposite direction! Having reached all the heights, it is worth sinking to the very bottom and achieving triumph there by writing material that is terrible in every sense. But just making a bad blog won’t be enough: "Top 6 incorruptible journalists" anyone can cook it up – this is shallow water, you won’t stand out here. We’re aiming for the Minor League. We’re about to sink into depths so deep that not even Buddha’s web can save us. We’re going to understand, how to do "Worst Blog" on StopGame.Ru. You don’t know what it takes? Don’t worry, me too, but you don’t have to choose.

Why is it needed at all?? Well, let’s say that we are not trying to offend or offend anyone, and what kind of friendship and chewing gum, someone will still come and say: “OFFENSE” – so that they can go on and fight on the main page. Even if we call someone Jesus because of the kindest soul and other positive qualities, we will be called a heretic and set on fire. Some kind of useless thing. Therefore, let’s forget about the disclaimer, we have more important things to do here.

Before you understand the content of the material, you need to think about the appearance of the blog, and not only about it. Criminals scare people, and “remarks” in the profile make everyone shy away, so it’s worth getting rid of them if you have them. "Beware of discovery of your twink breeding!» – I would say in any other place, but it is a well-known fact that each StopGame user has 100 twinks, otherwise why are all the downvoted comments complaining about them??

Another victim of twink attacks, poor fellow

It’s also worth thinking about your "face", and put a suitable avatar. Preferably something that everyone loves. Here are a couple of options:

Don’t forget to prepare the design: let’s take some neat but eye-catching cover, and something other than art with girls from "Love, Money, Rock and Roll".

Is there really nothing good to show other than the cover?. Although, judging by the reviews of Gleb and Kirill.

You can play around with clickbait, but don’t overdo it, otherwise it’s too provocative "candy wrapper" may repel. Let people think there’s nothing wrong with the blog… yes, let them think.

Now let’s dive in! Let’s start with the very basics and before we move on "Worst blog", let’s try to understand what it is "Bad Blog". I researched this issue and came to the following conclusion: A bad blog is the stuff that will make you love other things in the world more. Blogs like “Allow me to introduce myself: Comrade Nobody” will cause only one reaction from any user:

"I hate. Let me tell you how much I hate this blog: ever since I read. 387.44 million lines that fill my comment. If the word "hate" were engraved on every character of these hundreds of millions of lines, it would not correspond to one billionth of my hatred of the blog in this micro-moment for you. Hatred. Hatred.»

Subject #1967

From this we can draw a more than logical conclusion: "Worst Blog" so bad that a person will begin to think that everything else in the world is better than it actually is. And since there is only one worst blog, and “everything else in the world” is many, then in the long run we will get more pleasure. Math doesn’t lie. So don’t worry: we’re doing a good job.

However, how can we objectively understand that our blog is bad and can become "The worst"? Feelings are good, but sometimes they can let you down. Are there any assessment tools?? I wanted to consult with the main writers in this direction, but, for some mysterious reason, they did not answer me. Perhaps they couldn’t stand the test of fame and went into the sunset. Or is it related to the presence "BANA" in their profiles. Who knows. There was also an idea to use the classic 100-point system or its analogue. For this I tried to take inspiration from sites like Metacritic. However, I had to abandon this idea, because the test group that tested this system began to review-bomb. Apparently, humanity loves to blow up everything around in any form. In the end, I decided to go with the option with a rating. We will strive to ensure that our blog is red. There is an opinion that bad blogs are found not only with a red, but also with a green rating; moreover, some include mowing work as one of them. However, this is a myth spread by ill-wishers and envious people who “lost in the competition”. Kosar authors should be trusted, just like release dates were once "Cyberpunk 2077"!

Now let’s talk about https://betzino-casino.uk/ the blog idea. Here you might think that it’s easy and it’s enough to take some random topic, but this is where the problem lies, because in blogs All comes in:

It’s worth being more selective here, so I decided to turn to the “properties” of the site:

At this point, I was thinking about suggesting using cheats, because such “masterpieces” would be very difficult to surpass. There were a couple of options. The first is to ask for the status of editor-in-chief. As you can easily see, a couple of the most downvoted blogs belong to Kulakov, who at that time held the position of local Napoleon, which means there is a certain trend here. And, in fact, becoming editor-in-chief is not so difficult: I was sure that if I asked Dima, he would give up the post, because no one wants to be editor-in-chief. And other authors would hardly be against it. But today it turned out that Kungurov decided to close himself, and there was no one to ask. But that’s good, because that’s where it hit me: NOBODY doesn’t want to be editor in chief. Therefore, we wish good luck to Vorobyov with his new post, where he will certainly have fun.

The second is to hack the site and get yourself some minuses. However, even here complications surfaced: not everyone has the necessary skills for such manipulations. But the main problem is that the site was written using goblin technology, ready to explode at any moment, which is why even the most experienced hacker will not figure out how to work with it. And it’s hardly worth it: here a person can’t fix the site anyway, and we’re going to break it even more.

So you have to play fair.

As you can easily see from the “properties”, the ones that received the most minuses were those works that in one way or another relate to the site. It’s understandable: this topic is close to all StopGame fans, even if some don’t even know about the site’s existence. Therefore, I would advise you to sit on the lookout and be ready until someone decides to cosplay as Solodilov or Kungurov next time.

In general, if you decide to write about StopGame, it would be nice to forge your knowledge of “Blog History” so that you can say with a clear conscience that it was better before. Learn by heart all the posts of SG authors, remember the dates of all Karmablogs and the name of each Smoking Room, dig up Vanoma’s blogs in the archives… although it is better to leave something buried and never touch.

You can also try using other themes in your work. I would recommend iron And anime. The first will in any case cause squabbles and an influx of people. It doesn’t matter what you’re talking about, anything will do: from discussions on the topic of the most powerful console to a detailed and absolutely scientifically proven analysis of why backlighting makes your PC 300% more powerful. Have you thought why Moscow was burned in 1812?? It’s just that someone’s video card burned out during another argument… Perhaps it was even Kulakov. And the second one, for some reason, COLLECTS MORE VIEWS THAN THE CROSS BLOG THAT’S NOT FAAAAAAAAAIR!

I wanted to talk about the blog editor, but the fear of a possible update that will change everything upside down does not allow me to do this. Let’s hope that in the future, italics and bold font will be able to be used not through services, but for now, a minute of silence in honor of those who decided to make a blog on this topic. These heroes will never be forgotten… What were their names? Who will remember now.

But in terms of content, it is imperative to advise something NOT to do under any circumstances: promises. No matter what you say, no matter what form you present it in, people will remember it and quite rightly tear you apart because they didn’t follow through. And even if you try to keep your promise, then your work will mysteriously disappear. Everything is so serious that it is even noted in the site rules. You didn’t know? Take a look for yourself! Point 5.2.17!

But, if for some reason you still decide to make a promise and definitely cannot keep it, do not worry, scientists and sages from DTF have just recently found an effective way to solve this problem. After this you will no longer have any questions.

I would also think about the size of the blog. It should be small enough that anyone can read it. Nowadays, no one needs long blogs: maximum ratings will be looked at. Preferences and desires to write large-scale materials? Forget it. Anyone will take and show you graphs that will show the pointlessness of such an approach. Do you want success and attention?? Do less and more often. Who in their right mind would waste time creating long blogs??

Speaking about readability, it should be so only at the beginning so as not to immediately frighten off. But then make it as painful for a Russian-speaking person as possible. Forget about text structure, punctuation, declensions and other subtleties. Use as many long and unnecessary phrases in the text as possible, which turn it into water: after all, we are going to the very bottom. Oh, don’t forget yet WRITE ALL WORDS IN CAPS AND PREFERABLY WITH ALL FONTS, use incomprehensible emoticons like (งื▿ื)ว (what the fuck is this) and slang expressions like kek, lol, deb and cringe. What is cringe? I can’t say, just like 99% of users of this word.

If you think your blog is still readable, just give it to me for editing! Any thought you have, as beautiful as a butterfly, will become a barrel. Just be prepared to remind me about it by poking me with a stick from time to time, because I was born not only with a hole in my head, but also with laziness. Well, don’t forget to find someone I know to translate the dialogue with me, otherwise you won’t understand it yourself.

When Scorp explains what he wrote, and then his friends explain what Scorp explained

By this moment our masterpiece should be ready, plus or minus. But don’t rush to publish it, because there’s something else you need to do.

The site is a huge community with a wide variety of people and many regular users. Pleasant and friendly communication will allow even the worst blog to receive at least some advantages and a positive response. Thanks to communication skills, the author grows and receives deserved attention.

So, before you publish a blog, you should incite all these people against you.

Don’t think about the rules of decency and intrude on every conversation, pointing out that they are wrong without providing any evidence. Use euphemisms and compare people to idiots. Humiliate a person because he belongs to a certain group of people. Blame all your critics for being too toxic and impossible to dialogue with, only to then completely ignore them even when they start communicating in the most diligent way possible. Act as if everything is always bad and there is no point in even thinking about the positive. You can also target specific groups: name them absolutely all fans SG fanatics and sissies who only know how to write fan fiction, and every oldfag — clueless PSV-ers and toxic people who can only waste their time trolling. Write everywhere about how every other site is better than Stopgame, that video games have gone downhill and no one on the site understands gaming. Make them look at you with hatred and hostility. And as soon as you publish the blog, the whole thing will begin… Something about the blog went into a dark direction.

It’s worth stopping here, some other time we’ll reach the very bottom of blogs, although not necessarily only there: there are always many ways where you can direct your creativity. You should be careful, because it will be risky to go too far from the paths you know, but finding something new is always fun and interesting. And if you are confident in your abilities, you can try to implement your work in a completely new manner. But if you think that you won’t succeed, then don’t be afraid to ask for help, walk this path not alone, but with friends and create a story with these people. It is possible that quarrels may arise and even at some point you will stop communicating. But I believe that in such moments the connection with your comrades will remain and, if it is mutual, your paths will converge again sooner or later. Do you know what is most important?? This is how much you can rejoice together at the smiles of those around you.

And now a moment of specificity and seriousness: I really believe for myself that creativity should please people in one form or another (scaring people in horror films is also a joy in its own way). Speaking specifically about this text, I was trying to make jokes and fool around here. I had no goal to speak out on any issue or anything else, at most to tease. If anyone here was unfairly insulted, then I apologize, I’m really sorry.

I would also like to note… damn, this is already twentieth blog, awesome. Honestly, I only noticed today, incredible. I know someone out there already has over a hundred of them, but I’m still happy. And I can’t help but mention three blogs in a row. It was an interesting experience, even funny at times, but I don’t plan to repeat it in the near future. I hope you enjoy all three blogs. I wonder how many more blogs I can write and what they will be about? I’ll have to come back here in 5 years and ask myself this question… I hope I won’t be banned by then… for example, today… PLEASE DON’T.

In any case, we will someday return to creating the worst blog and reaching unprecedented lows! Write blogs (or not; maybe you’re busy and don’t have time)! Make people happy (if you set yourself such a task; what if you write for someone else, and I impose mine on you)! And remember that it’s no coincidence that the color of the site logo and the minus button are not different (or maybe it’s for nothing (I should have also advised adding a bunch of long explanations in each sentence, but that’s not fate (^___________________^)))!

That’s all I have (NOW EXACTLY). Thank you for your attention! Good luck to everyone and all the best!