Games in which we have to step into the shoes of real wild animals do not appear very often. The only thing that comes to mind is the series Shelter Yes Life of Black Tiger – judging by the trailer alone, the worst game for PlayStation 4. Even before the release of “The Life of the Black Tiger,” a small German studio Mooneye foresaw that the world would be in dire need of good games where we control animals, and in 2016 launched a fundraising campaign on Kickstarter for Lost Ember.

The required amount of money, 100 thousand euros, was collected in just two days, and as a result, backers supported the game for an amount three times more than expected. The foundation for an independent team of five people was laid very well. All that remained was to meet the public’s expectations. There were certain concerns in this regard, because Lost Ember – this is a debut project Mooneye Studios. The company’s employees followed their dream: they quit their office jobs and founded their own indie studio. Creative freedom is, of course, a good thing, but did the Germans manage not to get drunk on it and not let their backers down??

In the animal world

The beginning Lost Ember simple: in a deserted world, a talkative spirit-wisp finds a she-wolf who understands him and asks her for help. Fire really wants to get out of the forest and get to a certain City of Light, but a barrier doesn’t let him in. Although the she-wolf cannot speak humanly, she makes it clear with all her behavior that she doesn’t mind going on the road and helping a new friend. Throughout their journey, the couple will gradually remember the past and piece by piece reconstruct the history of the places through which their path passes.

Delving deeper into the plot means ruining all the intrigue: even though completely different things are paramount in the game, there is also a strong emphasis on history. I won’t say that it struck me with its depth (it itself is quite simple, even with all its unexpected twists), but there are touching moments in the plot and some special tenderness for nature is felt.

This same tenderness is felt not only at the plot level. The exploration of locations itself is full of nuances that make you fall in love with the game. We control a graceful she-wolf, explore fields and forests, caves and abandoned buildings, deserts and reservoirs together with her and Ogonyok.

Red columns of smoke show the way and lead to a new memory. However, due to the fact that the biomes themselves are quite large, it is not always clear where to go next: sometimes the smoke is simply not visible.

The world is full of all kinds https://vegaspluscasino.co.uk/ of living creatures: wombats run in the grass, hummingbirds hover over flowers, birds soar in the sky, fish splash in the water and ducks swim decorously. Each of these creatures can be inhabited by getting close enough. Our she-wolf is not as simple as it seems – she turned out to be a “soul walker” and is able to easily move into other creatures.

Playing for each of the animals is, of course, different. Parrots can fly and quickly cover long distances, buffalos break small obstacles with their foreheads, armadillos dig the ground and, thanks to their small size, can get into places inaccessible to other animals. Here you can even become a slow turtle – although exploring the world as her isn’t much fun.

Each of the animals has its own optional actions that add Lost Ember even more charm. Someone can fall on a side or lie down with their paws folded under them, someone greedily crunches on the berries they find, but my favorites are wombats who can roll carefree on the ground like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Well isn’t it lovely? All that remains is to play music from Green Hill Zone in the background. Or Limp Bizkit – Rollin`, as you like.

Wolf and seven animals

Transformation into other animals is the only way to get to places inaccessible to the she-wolf. You can return to your original form at any time, the main thing is that there is support under your feet – in the depths of the sea or high above the ground, turning into a wolf will not work. Finding the right animal for further advancement is almost the only task that the developers set for the player. And “search” is too strong a word. The animal you are looking for, as a rule, lives exactly where its abilities are needed – a family of armadillos will live near the wall under which you need to dig a passage, and a flock of birds will certainly be waiting on the edge of the cliff for the opportunity to take off.

IN Lost Ember there are no tricky puzzles or hostile animals. “We want players to move through the world at their own pace, without having their gameplay interrupted by combat, overly difficult puzzles, or death in general,” the developers explained on Kickstarter. Only unsuccessful acrobatics can pose a threat: all animals, except the mountain goat, after falling from a more or less high ledge, are expected to darken the screen and return to the hard surface. At first, this is a little annoying: the distance does not seem large, and from the experience of other games, you want to cut it off as quickly as possible. But over time to a leisurely pace Lost Ember you get used to it.

In the game you can meet rare representatives of some animal species. True, they are no different from their counterparts in anything other than a white glow.

Lost Ember should have been released this summer, but you yourself know how often the launch of creations from Kickstarter is postponed. The extra time probably benefited the developers: in ten hours of playthrough I encountered very few bugs. A couple of times animals got stuck in walls when transforming in tight places, and once a bird soaring down ended up outside the map. All these problems were easily solved by rolling back to the nearest save point, fortunately they are placed here quite often.

Since the game is primarily about walking (running, swimming, flying) around the world, its exploration is encouraged by finding all sorts of secrets. In secluded corners, animals discover mushrooms, which are added to the player’s collection. In addition to them, there are many optional artifacts scattered around the locations (and sometimes well hidden) that tell about the past of the fictional people of Yanran.

You can return to collecting collectibles even after completing the storyline by selecting the desired chapter from the menu.

Lost Ember — a not very long meditative journey through the world of wild nature that captivates with its beauty, a kind of walking simulator in the role of an animal. The game about a she-wolf and her talkative companion is designed to relax as much as possible after a hard day at work. There is no challenge, no artificially created tests – just leisurely exploration and a story that unfolds against the backdrop of picturesque landscapes. Not everyone may like this format, but if you suddenly want to be distracted by something as relaxing as possible, then Lost Ember will be an excellent candidate. She’s also a good example of how a decent game can be created by a team of just five people.

Cons: the story is too simple and unpretentious with all its truisms from the category “Violence begets violence”; minor bugs like getting stuck in textures.

Pros: detailed landscapes that constantly inspire admiration, and their charming inhabitants (wombats and little ducklings will remain in my heart for a long time!).

A trilogy of horror quests from Harvester Games (Downfall, The Cat Lady, now here Lorelai) – it’s like movies Andrey Zvyagintsev, where depression, everyday dreariness and general darkness are intertwined with mysticism, filmed in the language of video clips Marilyn Manson (Marilyn Manson; talking primarily about Sweet Dreams). Unless in Lorelai Less hard rock and more Evanescence. It turns out just as crazy, scary, depressing, stylish and overall very cool. These games have already received cult status, and their author, Remigush Michalski (Remigiusz Michalski), is now considered an artist who creates real art – albeit very uncomfortable in places. And yet, despite all the similarities between the three projects, Lorelai very different from the others.

About freaks and people

The trilogy takes place in the Devil Came Through Here universe, created by Michalski. The first one was released in 2009 Downfall: A Horror Adventure Game, which was primarily remembered for the abundance of creepy, bloody scenes. There were so many of them, and everything was so pulsating with an insane nightmare that some – I know this personally – were even sickened by what they saw.

The picture was stylish, but somehow dirty and unkempt. Combined with weak technical performance, this would have left the game at the level of niche indie trash, if not for the gorgeous soundtrack and a really crazy, complex plot. The story told how the main character, on the verge of divorce from his wife, stays with her at a hotel in a provincial town, after which they quarrel, the wife disappears without a trace, and the husband finds himself between the world of the living and the dead. By making difficult decisions and occasionally doing terrible things, we could influence the ending.

In 2012 Harvester Games released The Cat Lady, where both the picture and the technical performance were already at a qualitatively different level. And the plot was about a lonely woman who lived with cats, inviting them to her apartment by playing the piano. Then she committed suicide, but again ended up on the border between worlds, where she met the local Mephistopheles – the Queen of Hearts. She offered her a deal – to kill five human “parasites” in exchange for a return to life and even immortality. Atmospheric music, very lively, emotional dialogues and well-written characters were included.

A remake was released in 2016 Downfall, in which Rem Michalski not only corrected the overall visual style, clearly looking back at The Cat Lady, but also removed the logical inconsistencies of the original, actually linking the two stories together. Not everyone liked it, but everyone was looking forward to the third part, which the author clearly hinted at.

Dislike

We waited. Lorelai, the final part of this trilogy came out and overall did not disappoint. And purely visually, this is probably the best thing I’ve drawn today Michalski. Here he mixes 2D and 3D for the first time, not forgetting to constantly change the angle and color palette, moving from bright, almost poisonous colors to a stylish black-red and black-and-white palette, alternating close-up and long-range shots in a short space of the frame, adding various tricky filters, blur. And filling it all with walls of rain, the sight of drops flowing down the glass, which, together with the sad-beautiful music, so accurately reflect the inner state of the main character.

The girl Laura (but everyone calls her Lorelai) with a rosebud in her black hair seems to live in the same film Zvyagintseva. The father died, the mother smokes, drinks and suffers from depression, the stepfather (who, of course, hardly dries out) beats the mother and periodically pesters her eldest daughter. Yes, Lorelai has a baby sister, Bethany, whom her mother’s boyfriend, understandably, can’t stand. College isn’t going well either, and Lorelai is forced to go wash old women in a nursing home.

At some point, the mother https://winomania-casino.co.uk/ commits suicide, and the stepfather goes crazy – and the usual bloody horror for this series begins. After her death, Lorelai ends up in a strange border dimension, where she meets the same Queen of Hearts. She, as usual, offers to bring her back to life, but not for her beautiful eyes..

Flights in dreams and in reality

From this moment on, the action constantly switches between past and present, the boundaries of reality shift, Laura either dies or is reborn and moves between the world of the living and the possessions of the Queen of Hearts. And we, as in previous games, desperately don’t understand whether this is happening in a dream or in reality.

Michalski, Of course, he uses familiar techniques. The corridors of the apartment can be painted with bloody patterns and inscriptions, and when Lorelai goes into the kitchen, she risks falling into another dimension. There are practically no screamers, but there are mannequins that suddenly grow behind their backs and at some point will definitely turn their heads. Or, for example, dead old women in a nursing home, even after death, begin to squeeze the panic button, calling for help in a ward with terrible pictures. What will happen if you reach out to their hand and unclench your palm – you understand..

However, in execution Rema Michalski even clichés are impressive due to how stylish, powerful and atmospheric it is presented. Music plays a special role in this, due to which a more or less measured narrative (well, as far as one can even talk about in this case) periodically turns into cool music videos. As a result, all this begins to look like some kind of arthouse movie – well, or like a typical series "Legion" Noah Hawley (Noah Hawley).

Die, so with music. And a smile!

Our heroine solves the corresponding problems. Find the headless corpses of herself and her mother, and then find their heads and attach them back; put a pig’s snout on my stepfather; correctly arrange objects on the graves of your family members (and on your own, of course, too); pull the key out of the mouth of a dead shark – what does it feel like??

God bless, Michalski doesn’t lose his sense of humor. Laura has a funny neighbor, Zach, who loves video games and makes them himself. In a conversation with him, you can spend 10 minutes of real time listening to hilarious stories about what projects he is currently preparing – and even play some (naturally, “pixel” ones). Zach, in particular, assures that the authors Fortnite and similar royal battles stole the idea from him.

One day he will offer to help pick the lock – because he saw how they do it in Skyrim. The heroine herself remembers that cats seem to be afraid of cucumbers, and willingly uses this knowledge to make one street cat, squealing and jumping, rush into the distance and carry away with him a dog that is blocking us from passing.

Simpler means worse?

IN Lorelai everything is good – visual style, music, dialogues, plot, characters, which, despite the mysticism reigning around, are very similar to real people. However, if you compare the game with the previous parts of this trilogy, you will notice that the puzzles have become much simpler (we mainly look for, use and combine one or two items from the inventory), and the story has become more understandable, simple and concise. In any other case, this would be considered a blessing, but from horror Harvester Games you’re just waiting for a higher degree of madness, blossoming complexity and wild, inexplicable actions. In other words, here we get "Leviathan" the same Zvyagintseva (well, or "Fool" Yuri Bykov) about everyday life, only with powerful mysticism – but I would like, for example, "Antichrist" Lars von Trier (Lars von Trier)!

As before, we periodically make decisions about what to do and what to respond: to be impudent and even rude or obedient; whether to smoke your first cigarette or not; call Zack your boyfriend or keep your distance; pour laxatives into the tea of ​​the nasty older sister in the nursing home or try to improve relations with her. But now the decisions have become more obvious – and by and large only one or two of them will somehow affect the finale.

Other dilemmas no longer evoke the same emotional response. IN The Cat Lady at some point it depended on us whether we would bring the main character to hysterics or not. And in Lorelai something similar happens only in relation to an unfamiliar guy – well, what do we care about him?

Dot the i’s

On the other hand, we must understand that times have changed. And today the authors (which was noticeable even in the remake Downfall) also work for new audiences. That is why, apparently, they decided to make the story more sane and accessible. Moreover, if we are talking specifically about the final part of the trilogy, then it was clearly important to dot the i’s and finally give answers. In this regard, the decision to simplify the plot, to finalize the image of the same Queen of Hearts (even though not everyone may like how exactly this was done) looks just right.

By the way, in Lorelai many references to Downfall And The Cat Lady — the authors tried to more or less put all the lines together. Apparently, this is also why it was necessary to make the story more linear – so that the players would not tear the folding puzzle apart with the abundance of their decisions.

In any case and Lorelai, and this whole beautifully crazy trilogy from Harvester Games – this is, of course, a phenomenon. What started out as a niche indie nightmare eventually turned into the same niche, independent, but real art – with outstanding visual and musical accompaniment, non-trivial direction, living characters. And with the right to hope. In fact, there is no violence for the sake of violence here. Despite all the mysticism and exaggerated cruelty, these are games about all of us, about our lives – and this virtual reality is cruel in direct proportion to how cruel our real existential existence is. Here there was a place for black depression, and light sadness, and melancholy, and freaks, and people. It turns out to be a kind of replacement therapy for those who find themselves in similar situations. Just before starting treatment with Lorelai, I strongly recommend that you first read Downfall And The Cat Lady. And then we will wait together for new games from Harvester Games.

Pros: truly fascinating plot; lively, well-developed characters and dialogues; gorgeous directing; adult themes; outstanding visual and musical score.

Cons: the plot has become simpler, shorter and more linear compared to previous games; riddles have been simplified; the animation is just as clumsy as before (although this can also be called a conscious stylistic decision).

Football today can rightfully be called the most popular sport on our planet. Tournaments of various levels – from competitions of yard teams to world championships – hundreds of thousands of boys dreaming about the fate of the second Pele or Maradona, millions and millions of dollars swirling around advertising, match tickets, betting, and even the football players themselves. Its own football subculture has long been formed, and not just one – some prefer to sort things out with fans of other teams with their fists, while others quietly and peacefully follow every mention of their favorite player, plastering the entire room with posters with images of their idol.

Video games have not been left out either – football simulators are perhaps the most common of sports sims. But almost all of them covered only one aspect of modern football – in fact, the actions themselves on the field. What happens outside of matches and training and what is now almost more noticeable than championships and championships, namely the relationship between players and clubs, scandals and gossip (let’s say thanks to the journalists and their readers, who are all more interesting in this than football as a sport) – all this remained behind the scenes.

Lords of Football designed to correct this shortcoming. A football manager enters the field, where the personal lives of athletes are given no less attention than their purely professional activities.

According to the Brazilian system

When meeting Lords of Football somehow a comparison with the series immediately arises The Sims. As practice shows, this is true – even purely external coincidences are everywhere: a familiar interface style with large icons, cartoonish characters who love to make faces, music and voice acting… In the same way, you need to monitor the needs and desires of your charges, trying in every possible way to improve their lives. Only, unlike The Sims, the goal for which you have to listen to the whims of the “sims” is quite tangible here: winning matches with other clubs.

We choose a team, a championship – and go ahead, conquer the heights of the football Olympus. The developers did not spend money on licensing, so all clubs and players LoF have fictitious names. But nothing prevents you from renaming them to your taste, thus taking the reins of Spartak or Barcelona.

As you know, the more difficult https://magicredcasino.uk/ it is in training, the easier it is in battle. It’s the same here: the team spends most of its playing time in grueling training. We, in the person of the coach, are free to choose what exactly this or that club member will do: in the sports town there is enough space for training – from a large field where basic training is carried out, to a fitness room and a room for studying tactical techniques. Thanks to these trainings, each football player improves his skills, including speed, strength, endurance, accuracy and several other parameters already familiar to everyone who has ever played football FIFA or PES. After distributing team members to training places, all that remains is to watch how the football players sweatily jump around the field until dark. However, nothing prevents you from finishing your workout early or, conversely, extending your classes until the morning. In the latter case, along with improving skills, expect an increase in fatigue and dissatisfaction – football stars have completely different plans for the evening.

The tactical editor allows you to quite flexibly customize your team’s game. The only pity is that the consequences of the changes are almost invisible.

These guys know how to relax and love it. Each player, in addition to the purely physical indicators mentioned above, has his own needs, without satisfying which any Ronaldinho over time, he loses interest in his sports career and turns into a useless hulk on the field. Some people prefer to dance with girls all night, others constantly hang out in casinos, many, like real football stars, cannot live without the attention of the public and the press. Our players live their personal lives in a small town, next to which the team’s base is located. This city has plenty of hot spots where you can have fun: a pub, a casino, a fan club, a disco, a radio station and a restaurant. Here you need to carefully monitor each athlete: one tries to get drunk into unconsciousness, the second squanders all his money on roulette, and the third is going to try all the dishes in the restaurant. Yes, meeting the needs of football players gives a certain advantage to their playing skills, but it can also lead to addiction, which can cause a training session or match to be disrupted. If you don’t follow, prepare for the consequences. The team’s best striker or goalkeeper, completely drunk in the morning, quietly stealing money from the locker room to pay off a gambling debt is not at all uncommon in Lords of Football.

You can also watch your team’s matches. It is even allowed to control the football players a little – not directly, but by indicating the general direction of movement, pass or shot at goal. Of course, changing tactical schemes and style (attacking or defensive) on the move, as well as substitutions, are present.

The whole game consists of these three stages – training, rest and meetings. And at first it even looks interesting and lively, but the further you move along the calendar, the more clearly you see that the gameplay LoF depressingly monotonous. Each week is as similar to the previous one as two peas in a pod, only the appearance of the city changes: in winter it is covered with snow, and in autumn – with leaves. The rest is “Groundhog Day”, nothing less.

Perhaps the whole point is that the developers were unable to correctly distribute priorities between looking after the “Sims” and football management. For a serious trainer simulator, there is a lot missing here: the set of training sessions is not rich (plus they are not all available immediately, but as you complete the tasks of the club president), the effect of them is completely unobvious, and little depends on changing tactics and direct control during a match. With the personal lives of the players, which was positioned as the main feature Lords of Football, the same problems – everything is done too schematically. There are enough buildings for entertainment only at first – after a while you notice that there is no variety here, and there is no particular need to interfere with night parties, making decisions for the players about how to have fun tonight. For what? It’s still impossible to understand why this particular football player acts so badly during the match. Everything seems to be described in detail in his personal card, but why he fails to deceive the defender during an attack this time – because of an innately poor ball possession, a high level of the opponent, or because he ate too much at dinner yesterday – is unclear.

There is a catastrophic lack of events that require the intervention of a coach to resolve the situation. The most that will happen in 24 hours here is a couple of messages that one of the players missed training or needs to recover after a difficult match. These problems are solved in two clicks, after which all that remains is to watch the methodically training football players. Considering that the players’ movements during classes consist of exactly one animation option, this spectacle looks completely sad. The situation is similar with gatherings in nightclubs and casinos – each day cannot be distinguished from the previous one, and they drag on here for so long that even the possibility of speeding up time does not help much.

As a result, most of the game time is spent watching an “exciting” series about how two dozen local craftsmen made a hundred passes during training, and then went to the city in a crowd, where they sat in a pub until the morning. Yes, another one of the defenders signed autographs for fans instead of practicing. In the next episode – the same thing, with minor variations.

It’s good that you can skip the matches themselves, trusting the outcome of the meeting to be determined by lot. Players sluggishly rolling the ball from one end of the field to another, terrible replays and the general low level of graphics do not in any way motivate to follow the process. There are few dangerous moments and goals scored, as in real football, but this is precisely the case when excessive realism only harms. Where are the colorful goals performed “through oneself” and masterful dribbles?? Celebrating a goal with special moves for each player? Commentator’s remarks during the hot moments of the meeting? Can’t wait.

The fun lasted until the morning. Even fatigue after a stormy night doesn’t stop street dancing lovers.

Lords of Football – a clear example of poor implementation of an interesting idea. An attempt to build your own football manager failed miserably: if you aim to compete with FIFA Manager, then you need to play according to the rules of a serious and meticulous simulator, and the part with the “sims” and their whims must then be completely thrown aside. Even better if the guys from Geniaware, on the contrary, they made a slightly inadequate, but more fun simulator of the personal life of a football player, where the matches themselves are not so important; Probably this is exactly what was expected from them. The developers could release a fun and memorable game with a football theme. Instead Lords of Football, barely having time to enter the field, he receives a red card.

Pros: the opportunity to create your own team with any players; the first two hours the trainer’s work is even interesting..
Cons: …but then everything slides into a dull routine; it is impossible to track how players’ activities affect the quality of their play; inconvenient interface; disgusting animation.

Any author has a moment when he doesn’t know what to do next: you are known throughout the RuNet, you wake up every day with a million new subscribers, you have robbed the SG treasury more than once and even wrote about how to write good blogs. Everyone has already achieved this, but few know in which direction to move next. However, the answer is there and lies on the surface: go in the opposite direction! Having reached all the heights, it is worth sinking to the very bottom and achieving triumph there by writing material that is terrible in every sense. But just making a bad blog won’t be enough: "Top 6 incorruptible journalists" anyone can cook it up – this is shallow water, you won’t stand out here. We’re aiming for the Minor League. We’re about to sink into depths so deep that not even Buddha’s web can save us. We’re going to understand, how to do "Worst Blog" on StopGame.Ru. You don’t know what it takes? Don’t worry, me too, but you don’t have to choose.

Why is it needed at all?? Well, let’s say that we are not trying to offend or offend anyone, and what kind of friendship and chewing gum, someone will still come and say: “OFFENSE” – so that they can go on and fight on the main page. Even if we call someone Jesus because of the kindest soul and other positive qualities, we will be called a heretic and set on fire. Some kind of useless thing. Therefore, let’s forget about the disclaimer, we have more important things to do here.

Before you understand the content of the material, you need to think about the appearance of the blog, and not only about it. Criminals scare people, and “remarks” in the profile make everyone shy away, so it’s worth getting rid of them if you have them. "Beware of discovery of your twink breeding!» – I would say in any other place, but it is a well-known fact that each StopGame user has 100 twinks, otherwise why are all the downvoted comments complaining about them??

Another victim of twink attacks, poor fellow

It’s also worth thinking about your "face", and put a suitable avatar. Preferably something that everyone loves. Here are a couple of options:

Don’t forget to prepare the design: let’s take some neat but eye-catching cover, and something other than art with girls from "Love, Money, Rock and Roll".

Is there really nothing good to show other than the cover?. Although, judging by the reviews of Gleb and Kirill.

You can play around with clickbait, but don’t overdo it, otherwise it’s too provocative "candy wrapper" may repel. Let people think there’s nothing wrong with the blog… yes, let them think.

Now let’s dive in! Let’s start with the very basics and before we move on "Worst blog", let’s try to understand what it is "Bad Blog". I researched this issue and came to the following conclusion: A bad blog is the stuff that will make you love other things in the world more. Blogs like “Allow me to introduce myself: Comrade Nobody” will cause only one reaction from any user:

"I hate. Let me tell you how much I hate this blog: ever since I read. 387.44 million lines that fill my comment. If the word "hate" were engraved on every character of these hundreds of millions of lines, it would not correspond to one billionth of my hatred of the blog in this micro-moment for you. Hatred. Hatred.»

Subject #1967

From this we can draw a more than logical conclusion: "Worst Blog" so bad that a person will begin to think that everything else in the world is better than it actually is. And since there is only one worst blog, and “everything else in the world” is many, then in the long run we will get more pleasure. Math doesn’t lie. So don’t worry: we’re doing a good job.

However, how can we objectively understand that our blog is bad and can become "The worst"? Feelings are good, but sometimes they can let you down. Are there any assessment tools?? I wanted to consult with the main writers in this direction, but, for some mysterious reason, they did not answer me. Perhaps they couldn’t stand the test of fame and went into the sunset. Or is it related to the presence "BANA" in their profiles. Who knows. There was also an idea to use the classic 100-point system or its analogue. For this I tried to take inspiration from sites like Metacritic. However, I had to abandon this idea, because the test group that tested this system began to review-bomb. Apparently, humanity loves to blow up everything around in any form. In the end, I decided to go with the option with a rating. We will strive to ensure that our blog is red. There is an opinion that bad blogs are found not only with a red, but also with a green rating; moreover, some include mowing work as one of them. However, this is a myth spread by ill-wishers and envious people who “lost in the competition”. Kosar authors should be trusted, just like release dates were once "Cyberpunk 2077"!

Now let’s talk about https://betzino-casino.uk/ the blog idea. Here you might think that it’s easy and it’s enough to take some random topic, but this is where the problem lies, because in blogs All comes in:

It’s worth being more selective here, so I decided to turn to the “properties” of the site:

At this point, I was thinking about suggesting using cheats, because such “masterpieces” would be very difficult to surpass. There were a couple of options. The first is to ask for the status of editor-in-chief. As you can easily see, a couple of the most downvoted blogs belong to Kulakov, who at that time held the position of local Napoleon, which means there is a certain trend here. And, in fact, becoming editor-in-chief is not so difficult: I was sure that if I asked Dima, he would give up the post, because no one wants to be editor-in-chief. And other authors would hardly be against it. But today it turned out that Kungurov decided to close himself, and there was no one to ask. But that’s good, because that’s where it hit me: NOBODY doesn’t want to be editor in chief. Therefore, we wish good luck to Vorobyov with his new post, where he will certainly have fun.

The second is to hack the site and get yourself some minuses. However, even here complications surfaced: not everyone has the necessary skills for such manipulations. But the main problem is that the site was written using goblin technology, ready to explode at any moment, which is why even the most experienced hacker will not figure out how to work with it. And it’s hardly worth it: here a person can’t fix the site anyway, and we’re going to break it even more.

So you have to play fair.

As you can easily see from the “properties”, the ones that received the most minuses were those works that in one way or another relate to the site. It’s understandable: this topic is close to all StopGame fans, even if some don’t even know about the site’s existence. Therefore, I would advise you to sit on the lookout and be ready until someone decides to cosplay as Solodilov or Kungurov next time.

In general, if you decide to write about StopGame, it would be nice to forge your knowledge of “Blog History” so that you can say with a clear conscience that it was better before. Learn by heart all the posts of SG authors, remember the dates of all Karmablogs and the name of each Smoking Room, dig up Vanoma’s blogs in the archives… although it is better to leave something buried and never touch.

You can also try using other themes in your work. I would recommend iron And anime. The first will in any case cause squabbles and an influx of people. It doesn’t matter what you’re talking about, anything will do: from discussions on the topic of the most powerful console to a detailed and absolutely scientifically proven analysis of why backlighting makes your PC 300% more powerful. Have you thought why Moscow was burned in 1812?? It’s just that someone’s video card burned out during another argument… Perhaps it was even Kulakov. And the second one, for some reason, COLLECTS MORE VIEWS THAN THE CROSS BLOG THAT’S NOT FAAAAAAAAAIR!

I wanted to talk about the blog editor, but the fear of a possible update that will change everything upside down does not allow me to do this. Let’s hope that in the future, italics and bold font will be able to be used not through services, but for now, a minute of silence in honor of those who decided to make a blog on this topic. These heroes will never be forgotten… What were their names? Who will remember now.

But in terms of content, it is imperative to advise something NOT to do under any circumstances: promises. No matter what you say, no matter what form you present it in, people will remember it and quite rightly tear you apart because they didn’t follow through. And even if you try to keep your promise, then your work will mysteriously disappear. Everything is so serious that it is even noted in the site rules. You didn’t know? Take a look for yourself! Point 5.2.17!

But, if for some reason you still decide to make a promise and definitely cannot keep it, do not worry, scientists and sages from DTF have just recently found an effective way to solve this problem. After this you will no longer have any questions.

I would also think about the size of the blog. It should be small enough that anyone can read it. Nowadays, no one needs long blogs: maximum ratings will be looked at. Preferences and desires to write large-scale materials? Forget it. Anyone will take and show you graphs that will show the pointlessness of such an approach. Do you want success and attention?? Do less and more often. Who in their right mind would waste time creating long blogs??

Speaking about readability, it should be so only at the beginning so as not to immediately frighten off. But then make it as painful for a Russian-speaking person as possible. Forget about text structure, punctuation, declensions and other subtleties. Use as many long and unnecessary phrases in the text as possible, which turn it into water: after all, we are going to the very bottom. Oh, don’t forget yet WRITE ALL WORDS IN CAPS AND PREFERABLY WITH ALL FONTS, use incomprehensible emoticons like (งื▿ื)ว (what the fuck is this) and slang expressions like kek, lol, deb and cringe. What is cringe? I can’t say, just like 99% of users of this word.

If you think your blog is still readable, just give it to me for editing! Any thought you have, as beautiful as a butterfly, will become a barrel. Just be prepared to remind me about it by poking me with a stick from time to time, because I was born not only with a hole in my head, but also with laziness. Well, don’t forget to find someone I know to translate the dialogue with me, otherwise you won’t understand it yourself.

When Scorp explains what he wrote, and then his friends explain what Scorp explained

By this moment our masterpiece should be ready, plus or minus. But don’t rush to publish it, because there’s something else you need to do.

The site is a huge community with a wide variety of people and many regular users. Pleasant and friendly communication will allow even the worst blog to receive at least some advantages and a positive response. Thanks to communication skills, the author grows and receives deserved attention.

So, before you publish a blog, you should incite all these people against you.

Don’t think about the rules of decency and intrude on every conversation, pointing out that they are wrong without providing any evidence. Use euphemisms and compare people to idiots. Humiliate a person because he belongs to a certain group of people. Blame all your critics for being too toxic and impossible to dialogue with, only to then completely ignore them even when they start communicating in the most diligent way possible. Act as if everything is always bad and there is no point in even thinking about the positive. You can also target specific groups: name them absolutely all fans SG fanatics and sissies who only know how to write fan fiction, and every oldfag — clueless PSV-ers and toxic people who can only waste their time trolling. Write everywhere about how every other site is better than Stopgame, that video games have gone downhill and no one on the site understands gaming. Make them look at you with hatred and hostility. And as soon as you publish the blog, the whole thing will begin… Something about the blog went into a dark direction.

It’s worth stopping here, some other time we’ll reach the very bottom of blogs, although not necessarily only there: there are always many ways where you can direct your creativity. You should be careful, because it will be risky to go too far from the paths you know, but finding something new is always fun and interesting. And if you are confident in your abilities, you can try to implement your work in a completely new manner. But if you think that you won’t succeed, then don’t be afraid to ask for help, walk this path not alone, but with friends and create a story with these people. It is possible that quarrels may arise and even at some point you will stop communicating. But I believe that in such moments the connection with your comrades will remain and, if it is mutual, your paths will converge again sooner or later. Do you know what is most important?? This is how much you can rejoice together at the smiles of those around you.

And now a moment of specificity and seriousness: I really believe for myself that creativity should please people in one form or another (scaring people in horror films is also a joy in its own way). Speaking specifically about this text, I was trying to make jokes and fool around here. I had no goal to speak out on any issue or anything else, at most to tease. If anyone here was unfairly insulted, then I apologize, I’m really sorry.

I would also like to note… damn, this is already twentieth blog, awesome. Honestly, I only noticed today, incredible. I know someone out there already has over a hundred of them, but I’m still happy. And I can’t help but mention three blogs in a row. It was an interesting experience, even funny at times, but I don’t plan to repeat it in the near future. I hope you enjoy all three blogs. I wonder how many more blogs I can write and what they will be about? I’ll have to come back here in 5 years and ask myself this question… I hope I won’t be banned by then… for example, today… PLEASE DON’T.

In any case, we will someday return to creating the worst blog and reaching unprecedented lows! Write blogs (or not; maybe you’re busy and don’t have time)! Make people happy (if you set yourself such a task; what if you write for someone else, and I impose mine on you)! And remember that it’s no coincidence that the color of the site logo and the minus button are not different (or maybe it’s for nothing (I should have also advised adding a bunch of long explanations in each sentence, but that’s not fate (^___________________^)))!

That’s all I have (NOW EXACTLY). Thank you for your attention! Good luck to everyone and all the best!